Funniest quotes   | Random quote
  • Some people say there is a God; others say there is no God. The truth probably lies somewhere in between.
    - W.B. Yeats

    Permalink | View | 1411 views
  • Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
    - Joseph Heller (In Catch-22.)

    Permalink | View | 1447 views
  • Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.
    - Woody Allen

    Permalink | View | 1516 views
  • Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
    - Woody Allen

    Permalink | View | 1310 views
  • Sit down Rodney. Keep your brains warm.
    - Derek ‘Del boy’ Trotter

    Permalink | View | 1449 views
  • Show me a good loser and i'll show you a LOSER!
    - David Brent

    Permalink | View | 1410 views
  • She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong.
    - Mae West

    Permalink | View | 1327 views
  • She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
    - Woody Allen

    Permalink | View | 1407 views
  • She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
    - Jonathan Swift

    Permalink | View | 1476 views
  • She got her good looks from her father. he's a plastic surgeon.
    - Groucho Marx

    Permalink | View | 1323 views
  • Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
    - Woody Allen

    Permalink | View | 1389 views
  • Sex is an emotion in motion.
    - Mae West

    Permalink | View | 1407 views
  • Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
    - George Burns

    Permalink | View | 1429 views
  • Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
    - Woody Allen

    Permalink | View | 1452 views
  • See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
    - Will Rogers (To his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo.)

    Permalink | View | 1461 views
  • Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
    - Mae West

    Permalink | View | 1403 views
  • Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
    - Victor Borge

    Permalink | View | 1294 views
  • Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
    - Darrin Weinberg

    Permalink | View | 1360 views
  • Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
    - Woody Allen

    Permalink | View | 1462 views
  • Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style.
    - David Brent

    Permalink | View | 1451 views