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  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.
    - Mae West

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  • A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
    - Zsa Zsa Gabor

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  • A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
    - Mae West

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  • A hard man is good to find.
    - Mae West

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  • A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.
    - Ronald Knox

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  • A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no'.
    - Woody Allen

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  • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
    - Emo Philips

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  • A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
    - Mark Twain

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